I think I have to let my wife go

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I think I have to let my wife go

Unread postby Michael Jeffrey J » Mon May 19, 2014 4:49 am

I have been with my wife for 10 years, married for 3. She has done/said some pretty awful things in that time. She has been pulled over by the cops 3 times (that I know of) and each time they let her call me to pick her up instead of arresting her. I've hung in for so long and I've tried to believe she would do better. Sometimes she'd do well for months at a time. She's mean and nasty when she's drunk. She's been emotionally abusive and now I feel broken. She says she wants a divorce bc I don't pick up after myself enough. I want to help her but I also no there's nothing I can do. I'm so sad. My wife is a good person and I love her but she's sick. It's sad to see her this far gone. She blames me for everything. It hurts but I have to let her go. Problems is I don't want her to self destruct any more than she has. I love her. What can I do? I don't want to just wash my hands of her.
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Re: I think I have to let my wife go

Unread postby Jo-Ann Lampson » Fri Aug 29, 2014 4:11 pm

Wow I feel for you are you recovering or in sobriety ?
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Re: I think I have to let my wife go

Unread postby emack » Tue Sep 02, 2014 2:24 pm

Have you talked to her about her drinking and how it hurts you.There is only so much you can do.It is her who has to want to be helped.Maybe leaving her will be the spark she needs to wake her up and realize she needs help.
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Re: I think I have to let my wife go

Unread postby Guest » Thu Oct 16, 2014 9:28 pm

Hello,
I read your story . I am in a Very similar situation. I was wondering the outcome, and where you are now in your relationship?
I have been together with my wife over 20 years, married 12. We have a 9 year old daughter....my wife is a Super woman who I love dearly. But she drinks every day after work, without eating anything the entire day. She becomes irrational, abusive, etc. our daughter doesn't deserve any of this..
If not for our baby girl, I would be gone... I know the woman has the rights to the child, if I decide to split..
I feel So Stuck... My wife contends that there is no problem with her actions... Believe me, she becomes a Monster on a daily basis....
I am actually afraid to speak with her most of the time.
Guest
 

Re: I think I have to let my wife go

Unread postby Guest » Fri May 22, 2020 7:13 pm

I feel your pain. My situation was very similar last spring. I told my wife i wanted a divorce (together 12 married 9) 2016 thru asking for divorce in Feb 2019 she was an alcoholic that got worse every day. She got sober the very next day and never drank. Although the pain she inflicted on me emotionally and physically was INTENSE on me and our four kids. We have a blended family, my step son (now 19) remembers everything because she did the same to him as she did to me. I warned her of divorce multiple times prior to finally asking for it and it did nothing. When i finally asked for it i was so dead inside and had nothing left after being beaten down for years. I neglected to get involved all last year and turned my back in her while she recovered and became sober because i was still in pain and was afraid of what she did would happen again to me and the kids so i thought by holding out she would stay the course and stay sober and i would eventually heal. Well she got tired of my neglect and moved out right after christmas. I have since healed and have been trying to get her back but she tells me im too late and she doesnt want to work on our marriage. I also found out shes been dating a guy from AA secretly since a couple weeks after she moved out who was apparently chasing her all last year while in the meetings. Anyway, i know your pain sir, sit fown with her and give an ultimatum of separation or getting well. She may feel sobriety is the better option then losing her family. Bu support her thru the process and be active in it as well, dont do what i did and let her do it alone. I failed her greatly because of the pain she caused me and wish i did things differently, i wouldnt be suffering and losing my wife like i am now i am sure.
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