Not sure if Im using this post correctly..

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Not sure if Im using this post correctly..

Unread postby kparker » Tue May 20, 2014 5:04 am

I'm just looking for some people that have similar alcohol / drug issues that are sincerely looking for help and support! I would love to talk to anyone that shares my feelings and despair!
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Re: Not sure if Im using this post correctly..

Unread postby CHunsinger » Mon Sep 01, 2014 10:24 am

If this is the place for support and comfort when it seems that no one else is there and you feel all alone than I'm in:/ Recently my life has become so out of control and for some reason I am still suprized. The reason I say STILL is because time and time again this is the same place I always end up, it starts out with just doing what I loved to do(GETTING HIGH), the reason I started and continued to get high was because the temporary "nod" the high that made me feel on top of the world and comforted for an hour or so just so my mind would slow down and make everything seem like a horrible dream. When i got high my whole world became "perfect". I think without drugs, without that drug that keeps me what I thought "sane" I will continue to be haunted by my own demon and that's my mind. The escape I can say was worth it in the beginning and now I'm here because if I don't stop and stay clean now it's going to keep ending up with the same outcome/ending. The same repetitive "deja vu" rock bottom as they say. Personally I think and truly believe that I've hit my rock bottom many many many times and each and every bottom got darker and more lonely and I became more scared and worried for my life. It's always sunshine and butterflies in the beginning and then I found myself asking "why is it that I take 10 steps forward and get kicked 12 steps back"... ive been clean for 3 days and i just get so down on myself because ive been here before. Ive been in the rooms and talked and asked for help and this disease is so strong and powerful I would stay long before I was out being what I thought was myself again, my biggest problem with working the steps is that I know I have a problem. I can admit and accept that I have a terrible addiction and I am completely powerless over it. The 3rd step is where I continuously time and time again, I give up and go back out and use I can't seem to work through the anger and misunderstanding towards my higher power. I've come to the realization that the reason I was going backwards no matter how hard I tried and how mich effort i put into staying clean and working my program was because I expected a temporary high to take away permanent life issues that I need to work through. It's taken many years to mess every aspect of my life up due to my addiction that I am very well prepared and ready to work for the next however many years I have left to make things right and learn to forgive myself and others. If anything I know the feeling of aloneness and fearfulness. If you need ajyone. I am very very early in my recovery but for today I am clean and sober and working on picking the pieces of my life back up and slowly but surly putting them back together. Every one a recovery is different but if you need a listening ear I'm here:) Remember this isn't a race take it one day at a time and work your steps with a sponsor and enjoy your life because every life is beautiful in its own way.
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Re: Not sure if Im using this post correctly..

Unread postby emack » Wed Sep 03, 2014 5:19 am

staying positive and always remembering that anything worth having is worth fighting for.I am no pro at sobriety but I can tell you my life is much better in so many ways.I will help however I can.
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