First time

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First time

Unread postby Mckenzie927 » Thu Oct 02, 2014 9:46 am

I am a mother of 2 and and addict for over 20 years secretly. Ive never told anyone other then my husband who is also dependent on drugs. He doesnt want to get clean but i do! I am an undercover addict. no one knows that i endulge in bad things. I live a life of false faces and I'm tired of it! I want to be straight to be a better mom, a better professional and a better person. Im not the average addict. Not that I'm any better! I go to work, I have a great job. I take care of my kids but I also behind closed doors am addicted to my drug of choice. I am ashamed to admit this. I now know why I started doing it but I have confronted that issue and I am ready to move on with my life I want to let it all go! I am seeking help from someone who has been there. Im facing a hardtime to come but I know that I can do this. I have no choice now. I promised myself that I would do it for my kids! I love them more then life itself. They are 6 and 8 and they deserve better then a mom that hides in a room at night doing something, cause they dont know I dont do anything in front of them. But i want to be there in person more. Please tell me how i can achieve this goal. I am desperate and need a helping hand.
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Re: First time

Unread postby Lis0103 » Tue Oct 07, 2014 12:16 pm

Hi Mckenzie927,
Someone told me when I decided to be sober "This is the best decision you will ever make...for you AND for your child". It is the truth. I am a recovering alcoholic. I am 49 days sober today. I am a 31 year old single mom. You can do this. You have to want to and from what it sounds like, you do want to. Go to a meeting. They help. You'll see that you are not the only one going through this and that you don't have to do it alone. My son is 8. Unfortunately he did see me drinking occasionally. He said to me the other day... "Mom, ever since you stopped drinking you have been so much nicer and you look prettier too" Hearing that coming from an 8 year old made my heart melt and reminded me why I am staying sober. It's a great feeling. I am here to talk if you ever need to. :)
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Re: First time

Unread postby emack » Tue Oct 07, 2014 3:39 pm

the first move is yours.you have to be the one that wants to be sober mckenzie927.go to a few meetings and you will see that you are not alone and you can do this.pray for strength as it is a long road but a road worth taking for you as well as your children.
lis0103,thats great to hear and keep up the good work.
God bless and stay sober
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