struggling

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struggling

Unread postby amielynn » Sun Jan 18, 2015 11:32 pm

Hello. I'm Amie. Im not new to recovery at all. I've been in and out for about 4 years now. I'm at the "fun", young age of 21 right now. I've recently had my life turned upside down by my drinking. My now 10 month old son was taken from me and moved to my moms house due to my alcoholism. I was absolutely in shock, mad and suicidal after. I drank myself under for a month straight and im NOT a binge drinker. My consequences of my drinking vary from blacking out, doing drugs, getting in fights, missing work, etc. But I randomly go out and drink. I physically could not function or get out of bed knowing my perfect little boy is not here. Needless to say my family raised concerns and I went to detox. I've still slipped up since then. Not even out of my depression from not having my boy (its a minute by minute struggle) but just thinking, "hey I'm doing better, I don't have my son I might as well TRY to have some sort of fun. And by the way, I never once drank with my son around. Just wanted to make that known. I was actually a nanny prior to this happening and so is my mom. I love kids and I did a great job of taking careof him and I still do. It was whenever he would go to bed, I would leave the house with my boyfriend (his dad) there but I would find myself constantly in trouble. Anyway..i recently was 2 months completely sober and had a trip to San Diego planned. My mom, being the kind mother she is, got me a hotel by the airport and I ended up going out and drinking. Missed my flight the next morning. Am keeping this a secret from anyone involved with my case but it is bugging me. I can't seem to stay happy being sober. I get SO bored and UNCOMFORTABLE being awkwardly sober all the time. It's hard being so young and trying to commit to this and I don't know why its so difficult. My son is my motivation but sometimes it's still not enough. I'm not going to meetings nor do I have a sponsor (calling strangers isn't my thing), but I so desperately wish I had someone to talk to who understood what I'm going through and how annoying these bad thoughts are all day long! I need support but I've just been so against AA. The only person I trust is God. I want so badly for my issue to be some underlying problem with my situation or myself so I don't have the "death sentence" of being an alcoholic and "never being able to drink without consequence". Glad I got this off my chest. Glad I found this form of communication. Thanks and God Bless you beautiful people reaching out for help. If anyone knows how shity life can be right now, its me.
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Re: struggling

Unread postby ME2 » Sat Jan 31, 2015 7:02 pm

WE ALL STRUGGLE TO SEE ANOTHER DAY EVEN AFTER BEING SOBER 26 YRS.YOU ARE NOT ALONE. THE SECRET IS TO FIND HUMANS WHO ARE HUMANITARIAN AND DONT PASS JUDGEMENT AND HOLD MATERIAL POSSESSIONS CLOSER.
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Re: struggling

Unread postby emack » Thu Feb 05, 2015 3:30 pm

amie you say you are"cursed" with being 21 and an alcoholic.i say your blessed to know it at 21,i wish I did.you can get you life together right now and enjoy it for a long long time with your son.you say that when you drink you end up in trouble.
wouldn't it be great[and it is} not to have to worry about that anymore.if your looking for an easy cure I can save you some time because there is none.the only thing I will tell you for sure is that if you work hard and stay sober your life will be much much better.its not easy and it takes work,hard work but the rewards are greater.you getting your son back and your son getting a mom back that won't leave him again,i'll bet that worth it.
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Re: struggling

Unread postby Guest » Mon Feb 23, 2015 4:30 pm

aimee, yes you are indeed blessed to find this out at such an early age. the most important thing is to find a meeting ASAP and get a sponsor. i've found the following resource very helpful in finding close by AA or NA meetings FindingSobriety.com. hang in there! ill be praying for you
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Re: struggling

Unread postby robinraek » Sun Mar 01, 2015 8:52 pm

Hi Aimee,

This is my first time here. So I welcome you!

Congrats on your admitting you see there is some difficulty in your life. I have managed to raise 3 bright, beautiful children. Lucky me. But it hasn't gone perfectly. They have all seen their mom waaaay too silly drunk. I am the functioning alcoholic that got her kids to school, fed properly and homework done, but was I perfect? NO!!!!! I couldn't carpool, or drive them to a friend's house because it was in my "happy hour".. I look back with regret.
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Re: struggling

Unread postby Joev7 » Thu Mar 19, 2015 1:15 pm

Hi amie, when I hear people say you are lucky to realize you have a problem at the young age of 21, it makes me cringe. It's true, but you yourself don't feel " lucky". Take your age out of it. If you think you have a drinking problem GO TO AN AA MEETING. Then keep going. I hated going there. I was out of my mind. Didn't want to make connections there. Didn't want to get a sponcer, but I kept going, listening. I walked in there feeling I was a total fake. To me my drinking wasn't the problem, I was. I had depression issues, lack of self esteem, maybe ADD. I wasn't an alcoholic. I'm not like the people there. They have a drinking problem. I'm just fucked up in the head. I stopped drinking while going there. Then day by day those inadequate feelings started to slowly to fall away. Hearing people' s stories, I didnt know why then, really tended to help me. I thought aa was just a bunch of old drunks. I was so wrong; not only about aa,but about myself.
I found that I was surrounded by people that thought like I did. I've been sober for just 7 months. In that time my life has done a 180. I've found out more about myself in these past few months than I ever would known without aa. I'm still fucked up in the head. But that's ok. Not even close to what I was when I crawled in there. Give it a shot and listen. Your life will literally take off! I so amazed what it's doing for me and the people I see come in after me that stay, listen and share. Don't do it for your son. Do it for yourself. Your son will reap the rewards of your happiness. After going for a time you'll find that you don't feel lucky, you'll feel blessed.
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Re: struggling

Unread postby annmarie » Sat Mar 21, 2015 7:34 pm

Hi my name is Annmarie this is first time here on this site I am struggling myself and asking all of you for help!!! I am not sure how to navigate this site!! I have a major problem with drinking and its really becoming to over take my life!!!
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Re: struggling

Unread postby carltrying » Wed Apr 08, 2015 10:03 am

I'm new here to, and I'm struggling to stay sober today. I have quit before, but went back thinking I could handle it. I screwed up again. I'm 60 now and this has to stop.
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Re: struggling

Unread postby maureen_feinroth » Sun Aug 02, 2015 8:06 am

i have struggled for the past 30 yrs with my drinking. No lie. Its awful - my latest rehab was on condition that if i relapsed iwouldlose my fmaily. that wasnt even enough - so s now my oldest daughter isnot speaking to me - shes leaving for college and we havent spoken. my youger daughter runs hot and old - one day we are fine and then i will recieve an angry text. my husband says he loves me but wants no more drama - i dont blame him but it doesnt make it any easier. i miss my family i miss my sobriety and i miss my lofe please GOD help me.....
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Re: struggling

Unread postby Hansen78 » Fri Aug 14, 2015 6:03 am

"Thinking that you could handle it" is a basic tendency involved in mental relapse. There are three kinds of relapse- emotional, mental and physical. During a mental relapse, all addicts have a tendency to be involved in high-risk situations that are, be around alcohol and those who use it, while thinking that they can control their urge to drink. Right after this, physical relapse kicks in and you will start drinking again. My advice would be to get admitted to an alcohol treatment center that provides continued counseling services asap. If you are in Toronto, you can definitely try Bellwood Health Services. I did rehab there.
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Re: struggling

Unread postby marygmiller » Mon Aug 24, 2015 6:47 am

I'm new here, I have struggled for 3 years with my alcoholism and decided to quit it due to some health problems. Hallucination, confusion, sleeplessness, anxiety, depression, etc, are the important alcohol withdrawal symptoms. It's hard to manage. I had tried my best to get rid of it, but can't manage it by myself and sought the help of Canada alcohol and drug rehab programs, an addiction treatment center in Calgary (http://www.canadadrugrehab.ca/). They encouraged be to get involved in other activities and it really helped me. Drinking more water, getting proper sleep, doing exercise and practicing yoga, these all will help to minimize the withdrawal symptoms. Stay strong. Strong willing power and desire are important to get rid of any addiction.
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Re: struggling

Unread postby dianeb » Mon Aug 31, 2015 5:36 am

I too had struggled for 3 years with my alcohol addiction. Later I had joined in Edgewood, an addiction treatment center in Toronto (http://www.edgewood.ca/) for a fast recovery. Their medications and treatment techniques had really helped me to get rid of this addiction. Now, I’m leadin
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Re: struggling

Unread postby dianeb » Mon Aug 31, 2015 5:37 am

I too had struggled for 3 years with my alcohol addiction. Later I had joined in Edgewood, an addiction treatment center in Toronto (http://www.edgewood.ca/) for a fast recovery. Their medications and treatment techniques had really helped me to get rid of this addiction. Now, I’m leading a happy sober life. :)
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Re: struggling

Unread postby memom2b » Wed Dec 23, 2015 5:31 pm

hi im new on here but im really having a hard time right now. i have been sober for 3.5yrs but with the loss of my dad this year i find myself wanting to pick up the bottle again. i dont do anything with my life im so depressed i have 3 kids and 2 of them dont live with me because of my drinking. my youngest is 6 and every time she goes to her dads i reallly want to get me a bottle and vodka and just drink my life away
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Re: struggling

Unread postby James California » Tue Jan 26, 2016 9:22 pm

Hello Amie;
I think the other people here have given you some good suggestions to help you cope and recover. Please know that we are all in this together and you are NOT alone - in fact you are in very good company ! Some of the brightest, most creative and caring people are sober addicts.
We all use drugs to 'escape' for many reasons, but we are only making our life worse in the process. None of our problems go away until we deal with them as sober adults.
To stay motivated think about now nice it will be when you get to have your perfect little boy back home with you every day. Also see about talking to a social worker or psychologist who will work on a sliding fee basis - or even free if they are interns.
Also know that many of us are helped by medications such as antidepressants and newer drugs that can block the craving for alcohol.
I wish you all the best and STAY STRONG. You can do it !
James California
 


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