by zigstar » Sat Sep 19, 2015 1:37 am
I am struggling tremendously with depression and my life. I want to stop drinking and I plan on going to a meeting for my first time tomorrow night.Although my father and brother have recovered from their addictions, I do feel a little uncomfortable attending the meetings they regularly attend on a daily basis, so I'm looking for other local meetings. I haven't had any friends for over a year or two, I can't explain why I am this way but I went through a lot of stress and life changes that changed me. I lost a parent and it still haunts me, I also lost a best friend to an overdose..I guess the most recent heart break causing me to write this post is the fact that I just lost(left) my boyfriend whom i've been with for over 5 years. I'm young but I hardly get out anymore, I've tried calling suicide hotlines, seeing psychiatrists, counselors, and other ways of seeking help/support and advice from family members when I have a breakdown, but I feel so alone and misunderstood and cut off from the world in the end.
I feel as though I can't help myself, and nobody has been able to help me either. I know going to a meeting will help me tomorrow but every night is like a void in my heart, I'm just so alone and depressed, i want to be better but never seem to actually get anywhere for over a year now. I've never felt so alone and ashamed for so long and it is killing me. I don't know what to do with my life, I need support but I can't even support myself. :/