husband asked for help, now denies

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husband asked for help, now denies

Unread postby helpme » Fri Jul 13, 2007 2:03 pm

My husband is 32 and an attorney that handles lots of domestic cases. Therefore, he sees a lot of heartache out there. While he just admitted last month that he was an alcoholic and asked for help, (was drinking tequila on the ride home from work) the very next day, when the crisis was over, he denied needing any help. I suspect he may be on some type of drug as well but I am not sure what. I have asked him to go to an inpatient treatment center, marital counseling, AA and he says that he is done with the drinking and he no longer has a problem. I know that is not the case. How do I survive the nastiness, insults and lies that he spews in front of the children? My poor daughter (4) is witness to all of this. My son is just 7 months old. While his drinking is not new to me, after 13 years together, with the last 18 months being he is like Dr. Jekyl & Mr. Hyde where do I go from here? This is new to me...
helpme
 

Unread postby Guest » Fri Jul 13, 2007 7:12 pm

helpme,
there's nothing you can do for your husband. But there are few things you can do for you and your children: go to alanon, talk to your doctor, go to a therapist, read books about addiction to understand what's going on, and don't despair. You're not alone.

PS) Very important: GO TO ALANON MEETINGS
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Unread postby fdphilly » Sun Jul 15, 2007 3:07 pm

Alnon meetings can help you. look on line for meetings or in phone book
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Unread postby November_rain » Sun Jul 15, 2007 4:57 pm

check the front page of sobrietyonline for alanon meetings
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what do I do?

Unread postby guest » Wed Jul 18, 2007 8:52 am

Dear Help Me,

It's true that Alanon is a great place to hear how others have handled situations. I attend and know how it has helped to change my life. We work so hard to make the other person realize they have a problem. Very often we work too hard. Start putting that emotional energy into taking care of you and your children. Your husband will notice. Learn about detachment. I could very well save your husband and your marriage. Keep reaching out.
guest
 

Re: what do I do?

Unread postby Guest » Wed Jul 18, 2007 9:06 am

guest wrote:Dear Help Me,

It's true that Alanon is a great place to hear how others have handled situations. I attend and know how it has helped to change my life. We work so hard to make the other person realize they have a problem. Very often we work too hard. Start putting that emotional energy into taking care of you and your children. Your husband will notice. Learn about detachment. I could very well save your husband and your marriage. Keep reaching out.


What if the person you reach out to doesn't care????
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Unread postby Guest » Wed Jul 18, 2007 9:27 am

it doesn't matter whether they care or not because let's be honest here, addicts just want to get high, and there's nothing you can do for them. when they're ready, they'll get help. in the meantime, help yourself because if you decide to stay with an addict, you're going to need all the support in the world. alanon, therapist, physician, whatever is available to you is what you need to go through this ordeal.
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