Hey, after reading your post i could truly feel your pain. I'm 18 years old and have been in this recovery process since i was 16 going on 17. Granted, my circumstances were a little different, but the fact that you're seeking help speaks for itself. I had attained 18 months of continuous clean time and CHOSE to relapse in September 2008 for selfish reasons. But it was the worst mistake I've made. Now I'm coming back around and have two days clean and can relate to your constant feeling of being in an uncomfortable 'dream-state'. I have experienced it before as well, and I assure you that it does get better with time. But you're still smokin pot. That's no good. Sure it may not be "the worst drug", and it might be aiding your sleep, but it's still a drug. As
drug addicts, it's ABNORMAL for us NOT TO USE. But as [b
human beings][/b] it is ABNORMAL to USE. Basically what I'm trying to get across is that since you're a drug addict, it's understandable why you feel the way you do and why you want to continue smoking pot, but just because it's understandable doesn't mean its okay. If you think about it though, something is messed up in your chemical balance or whatever that's effecting your sleep, and this was caused by the use of drugs. So in order to fix the issue, it would be best to just stop using ALL MOOD ALTERING SUBSTANCES, including pot. Just by you reaching out through this forum, I have tons of respect for you. However, if you are struggling to get off drugs, stay off drugs, or recover from the damage of drugs, then I would HIGHLY suggest going to an in-patient rehab. I've been to 2 juvenille in-patient rehab centers and 2 juvenille outpatient treatments, as well as one in patient/ one out patient as an adult. I only suggest that you do in-patient treatment because i know that often times it's hard to stay focused and gain anything from juvenille outpatient centers where 9/10 kids are court ordered and still getting high. Do what you can to get to a meeting, share honestly, and take all the help you can get. Your willingness is admirable. Keep your chin up and hang in there. If you need anyone to talk to or have any questions, don't hesitate to contact me...
E-mail:
Addict_Mitch@yahoo.comAIM: Mdean072
And if nobodies told you today, I love you. Keep up the good work.
Mitch D.