Al anon confusion

General questions about recovery
Forum rules
Please consider replying to an existing message. It only takes a minute and you may help someone else in need. A simple word of encouragement goes a long way.

Al anon confusion

Unread postby oscar » Wed Oct 01, 2008 9:30 am

I am struggling with my sobriety without any support from friends or family. My partner of 5 years has turned her back on me completely after joining al anon. The change in her personality is evident because she can't hold a conversation without injecting al anon slogans. She has used detachment as a way to control everything, to avoid conversations and social commitments, not just with me but with family. I had a medical emergency and the hospital called her but she did not respond. When I finally caught up with her she said she just didn't feel like geting involved. Knowing that Al anon's philosophy is similar to AA's I am beyond hesitant to continue with meetings. Please advise. Thank-you :!:
Registered User
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Oct 01, 2008 9:12 am

Re: Al anon confusion

Unread postby Guest » Wed Oct 01, 2008 10:25 pm

Your partner probably realizes that they were controlling and enabled your addiction. It is a family disease. If, everyone doesn't recover it doesn't work. You need to stand up on your own feet. I've been to the doctor and hospital and guess what , I took myself and I didn't die. Sometimes when one gets sober and the other party goes in alanon, the relationship no longer works. But if both work the 12 steps it can be better than ever. one day at a time. hang in there.

Re: Al anon confusion

Unread postby Guest » Sat Dec 13, 2008 4:42 pm

Keep being sober, and keep going to AA meetings. This is YOUR struggle, not hers. It'd be nice to have some support, but ultimately, you're the one in charge. Whether you get any or no support, when you're ready, you'll stay sober because the strength comes from within. You can get all the support in the world, but if you're not ready, you will use again. So do whatever you have to do to get better, and let her do her stuff.

When you're an addict, you affect the people around you. The "Just leave me alone, and I won't bother you" is BS. An addict hurts whatever he/she touches. She's not using detachment as a way to control everything but as a way to control HER LIFE. Like you control yours. So instead of complaining about what she does, focus on getting better, focus on yourself.

Last bumped by Anonymous on Sat Dec 13, 2008 4:42 pm.

Return to New to Recovery?

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests