someone please read this im 16 and i need alot of help

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someone please read this im 16 and i need alot of help

Unread postby cosmogirl » Mon Aug 25, 2008 9:22 pm

im really confused..........im 16 turning 17 next month and none of my friends feel the way i do.....i smoked weed for 3 years and took all sorts of painkillers almost everyday and that started before i ever smoked pot......ive been doing that since i was about 12 and a little before that but it didnt start becoming a habit til i was about 12 or 13...and about 2 months ago i tried doing meth and did it for 2 days during the weekend and did it again for 2 days the next weekend..and a month after that i took 3 ecstasy pills the same nite and it was the only time i actually felt anything from it cause id always taken half a pill before that cause i was scared of what it would do to me once it kicked in. and about 4 months ago i forced myself to quit doing cocaine which was a bad addiction off and on for maybe a year..........but after i tried speed and ecstasy ive just been occasionally smoking weed maybe once a week but every since i did meth and ecstasy ive been feeling so weird. i never had any problems like this when i was high on weed or after a come down. id usually pass out when i was coming down and wake up feeling brand new. now i wake up feeling like im in a dream everything looks cloudy and blurry and im always dozing off into space and staring at things i feel like im disconnected from reality. its really hard for me to explain it.........basicly im just out of it all the time...and sometimes i snap out of it and i feel normal. i noticed that it happens more often and feels worse when im away from home or somewhere i dont feel as comfortable. im still having cravings........for coke mostly but meth too...i guess it really is as strong as people say it is cause even though i only did it a few times its all i think about........and cheaper than coke so that doesnt really help me to stay away from it. i want this all to just end and i wish i never did anything........i dont know anyone else my age who is as heavy of drinker and as bad of a drug fiend as me. im tired of feeling WEIRD......and having to smoke weed so ill be on high on SOMETHING which is better than nothing..and atleast if i smoke weed and feel weird im cool with it cause i know its cause im high but when the high comes down i feel like crap again cause i start feeling weird! and the weirdness that i feel is terrible it makes it hard for me to function.........im in beauty college.......i love doing hair and its my inspiration to stay away from hard drugs and alcohol........but its hard for me to do anything when im always off in another planet. i feel like im permanatly brain damaged......my emotions are different too...i used to not be shy..i was so outgoing and happy and loved life.............plus on top of it all i had a bad loss...a friend of mine passed away and its almost the one year anniversary of his death and it haunts me in my dreams.....and i didnt have the best childhood......so its all piling ontop of each other and when i did weed and coke i was fine i swear it was after i did speed and quit then tried E i changed..........a friend of mine did heroin for a few years and she said she understands how i feel cause it took her 2 years to get her head cleared and snap back into reality cause she alays felt out of it too. im always craving pills.........theres a list of them that i take. and i dont always abuse them sometimes i take the regular dosage and other times i just sit there and keep popping them until im satisfied..
but im never satisfied............from any of it............. drugs used to be fun and now i feel like they ruined my life. is there any hope for me? if anyone can answer my questions or has any information please let me know......im desperate for help and i have no one to talk to
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Re: someone please read this im 16 and i need alot of help

Unread postby lombardy57@comcast.net » Tue Aug 26, 2008 8:34 pm

Addiction is a disease, just like diabetes or cancer. You are not unusual in the way you are thinking or feeling. My son is an addict- all the same kinds of drugs you mention and then some. Get on the internet and find a drug abuse hotline number- surely there is one in your community, but it doesn't matter where it is- they will help you find help. You will not go to jail or anything like that. You don't mention your parents- can you approach them? You absolutely can get well again. Let me know how you make out. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
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Re: someone please read this im 16 and i need alot of help

Unread postby cosmogirl » Tue Aug 26, 2008 11:33 pm

thats just the thing.....that makes it so difficult......they know about weed and alcohol but i spared them the gory details about other things.........and when they found out they didnt handle it the right way
i dont want to talk about it much but basicly my dad is a hugeeeeeee issue.....
im really trying though.
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Re: someone please read this im 16 and i need alot of help

Unread postby guestttttt » Sat Nov 08, 2008 5:06 pm

The person who posted is right, addiction is a disease.
I am a 20 yr. old addict/alcoholic who lost everything, boyfriend of 6 1/2 yrs., parents respect, friends respect, families respect. I lost where I was living, my car, my job, everything but my life and i am grateful about that today. I could have died out there, but i didn't. Before your shit gets worse and move on to some other drugs, you need to tell your parents what the deal is. Your option might be rehab, you might not want to go to but you are so young and you can start recovery and a new life early. You might have the option to go to IOP (intensive outpatient therapy), take anything that will help you stay clean. Trust me you dont want to end up dead or in jail. I ODed twice and i'm looking at about 2-4 years of jail-time because of my drug and alcohol use. I went to rehab Aug.27 and i just got out yesterday. Life is hard and deaths of loved ones are the hardest to deal with and you want to numb that pain,i understand that completely cause that's what i did and that's where shit got worse, but you need to talk to someone. Also, go to an NA meeting in your area, see what it's about, people will help you and talk to you about what you should do. They understand everything you're going through. you have any questions write back and i'll give you my IM or E-mail. okay? take care.
-C
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Re: someone please read this im 16 and i need alot of help

Unread postby Guest » Mon Nov 10, 2008 8:25 pm

Listen, your 16 you've hit a bump in the road and fell victim to addiction! Like everyone else has said addiction is a disease and if not treated will surely kill you! No matter what the problems in your life (we all have them) bottom line is you need to face it! Numbing is just a way to kill the pain and I understand that as I have done it too. However, when the drugs wear off and nobody is around and your on your death bed there is no turning back!! Death is forever, always remember that and your so young and beautiful by the way that it would be a shame to let the drugs win. The wierd feelings your feeling are part of the withdrawals, some of the emotional effects of withdrawals can last for some time (feeling depressed, anxious, out of sorts ect.) This will go away if you STOP ALL THE DRUGS, go to a psychologist and even a physcatrist is needed. Get your problems out there and let go of it ..ask god or whoever you believe in to take this weight from you!! If you feel out of control and that you can't stop go to REHAB and talk to family!! The good thing is that you sound like you want help, so stop contemplating and GO GET HELP!! Your life is precious and WILL be taken from you if you don't get help NOWWWW!! Make the calls asap and talk to your family!! Also remember that you can't change your parents or anyone for that matter so **** their reaction..worry about YOU, talk about it in therapy, get it out and be done with it!! The drugs are simply the devil in disguise (as I've come to realize, my sister is currently on her death bed do to a heroin and crystal meth addiction)! She is the most beautiful person I had ever met and got caught up in the drug world.. the same will happen to you meth is hardcore shit that will **** up your brain forever so stoppppppppp now!! Got get help, look at the support you have already, you can do this!! You will be in my heart dear, please I beg don't let drugs take your life the way they have stolen my sisters!! best of luck!!
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Re: someone please read this im 16 and i need alot of help

Unread postby Guest » Mon Nov 17, 2008 10:06 am

I just wanted to say that you are a beautiful girl. And there is a lot of love in the world for someone like you. And one day you will be open and accepting of this love. Hugs and Kisses, Karen
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Re: someone please read this im 16 and i need alot of help

Unread postby Guest » Mon Nov 17, 2008 6:07 pm

I have my own problems, i never liked any of the powder drugs but I had horrible neck surgery four years ago at the time the doc wanted to put me on oxycontin for pain, i refused because I knew several kids from my neighborhood that ODed on it. I just took percocet, well its been four years the neck pain is gone but the percocet stuck with me. I didn't know anyone who sells them anymore and my tolerance grew, so i moved on to oxys. I have detoxed myself, and take 40mg maybe once every two weeks because it was ruining my relationship with the only girl i have ever loved. I was a pro fighter too a very high level jiu jitsu fighter, but drugs became more important. Cosmo i feel like i am in the same boat I crave pills and eat them when i don't need them. You are 16, run away from the drugs while you are still young, i am just going to my first NA meeting this week, you should do the same, I believe there is hope for me so i believe there is help for you. Run from the drugs now because it gets harder with age. I am only 30 and i have injuries that Dr's prescribe pills for the pain and it is bad pain. But the only reason i have the pain is because i was fucked up on vicodin and booze, and broke my ankle trying to do something stupid. You are young enough that you can escape, i am trying myself, you asked if there is hope there is but you must really want it....much love....keep your head up kid


DPH
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Re: someone please read this im 16 and i need alot of help

Unread postby Ryan's Sister » Wed Nov 26, 2008 5:08 pm

Cosmogirl,
I saw that you posted for help on a lot of threads. I'm sorry to hear about your use, abuse and the loss of your friend.
When I was younger, I needed someone to talk to and found a councelor/ therapy group that charged on a sliding scale. Since I was young and didn't have any money, they took me for free. At that time I was having some of the same issues you are expressing, some different. It was good to talk to someone and seek answers that were scaring me.
You have asked about E and the meth causing a permanent brain damage, a councelor may be able help you seek the answers you need, at least about what these drugs do to your brain.
You understand that you are abusing and that it has to stop, and it sounds like you've been through a lot of issues, you already know you should get some help. That's a good place to start.
All the other drugs & alcohol you mentioned abusing are contributing to an addiction, even if you felt "fine" after using them.
I'm sure a lot of people here wished they could go back to 16 and get help before it was so far along and so much was lost, friends, family, loved ones, money, things they sold to get high, things they did to get high...
You have a chance to save yourself and stop this before it gets any worse.
If you can, talk to your parents. Tell them you need real help. If you really really truely cannot talk to them, get help from somewhere. Find an NA meeting (they are posted on the internet for your area), find a sponsor... don't wait anymore.

Good Luck
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Re: someone please read this im 16 and i need alot of help

Unread postby cosmogirl » Sat Dec 27, 2008 9:34 pm

the dirtiest lowest of the lows that i see 30 year old crack heads going through...has already happened to me...ive been on the streets and in motels with people that i dont know....... so when you guys are saying stop before it gets worse like bla bla bla i already hit that rock bottom where it doesnt get any worse and the only thing left to happen is die. now i really need help im sober except for weed as usual what makes it hard to give up is my insomnia i cant sleep unless i smoke ALOT to the point i just black out. it was hard GETTING sober...staying this way and continuing to get BETTER is whats hard....cause i got the devil pulling me by one arm and God is tugging on the other one.
know what i noticed though? no matter how bad things get God never lets go of me. on the darker side sometimes it stops......
it goes up and down....i can always get back up when im down but i never STAY down. if that makes any sense....
i have no clue..im trying to explain things that im feeling that are really complicating.
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Re: someone please read this im 16 and i need alot of help

Unread postby Jmac » Thu Jan 01, 2009 7:26 pm

Cosmogirl,
Sorry, but I'm trying to figure out if you REALLY want to get better.....or just want to hear yourself talk.
Stop kidding yourself.....get honest, get off the weed, & get some structured help.....it's available if you want it.
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Re: someone please read this im 16 and i need alot of help

Unread postby thoughts » Fri Jan 02, 2009 1:01 am

cosmogirl. it can be frustrated and lonely when you feel like you cannot talk to you parents or friends about what you are going through. you have mentioned however that you have many ideas down about your addiction and your needs. it is good progress that you are down to one drug but its still a drug and despite what some people feel/think/know about weed it is still a drug. you may not have the same withdrawal physically as other "harder" drugs but the behaviors and the intention are still there. it seems you are trying to numb and run from loss and grief with your friends death and maybe more long term, the issues with your father. **these are not issues that can be solved or treated online**...this is a place to start and to get resources but you need to seek face to face, one on one or group counseling...and seeing as you are a teenager, especially if you are in high school you can probably get the counseling for minimal fees, if not free. reaching out to the people on this website was a good step. know and believe that you are capable of taking the next one. good luck.
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Re: someone please read this im 16 and i need alot of help

Unread postby margaretgunning » Sun Jan 04, 2009 5:32 pm

lombardy57@comcast.net wrote:Addiction is a disease, just like diabetes or cancer. You are not unusual in the way you are thinking or feeling. My son is an addict- all the same kinds of drugs you mention and then some. Get on the internet and find a drug abuse hotline number- surely there is one in your community, but it doesn't matter where it is- they will help you find help. You will not go to jail or anything like that. You don't mention your parents- can you approach them? You absolutely can get well again. Let me know how you make out. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Addiction is disease it is also nothing to be ashamed of there is help available for u but first let me tell you a little bit about myself .My name is margaret and i am recovering from drug and alcolhol abuse that i did to myself chonically for years it took me a long time to surrender, I started using in my teen yrs like you but, i am now 46 yrs old and im in a program called alcoholics anomymous i attend AA meetings every day to stay clean and sober drugs and alcolhol ruined my life ive lost my child, my house some family members through my addictive yrs of using, Please through the grace of god do yourself a big favor while your still young and fresh in your youth and you have many years a head of you get help immediately. tell some one in your family mom or dad siblings if you have them or call someone there are numbers in your local white pages or yellow pages out reach numbers for drug abuse . Also you could go to a local AA meeting in California where u live there are plenty of young teens that go to AA Meetings
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Re: someone please read this im 16 and i need alot of help

Unread postby deanna m » Tue Jan 06, 2009 5:00 pm

TO SOMEONE PLEASE READ THIS, IM 16 AND I NEED HELP-
I know what your'e going through. I started coming to NA on my own when I was about 14. I was familiar with the program, as both my parents are addicts and in the ongoing recovery process.
I got clean when I was 15. By that time, I had already experienced the highs and lows of addiction- how fun it was to use, but all the devestating consequences that came along with it. I stayed clean thru NA for 7 months before relapsing with some old using buddies, girls I had been friends with for years who were still trapped in the misery of active addiction.
I am now 19 years old and have been in the NA program for over 6 years. I have relapsed and came back multiple times.
ADDICTION IS A DISEASE. There are many people like you in the world, feeling the same feelings that you are. Its hard being so young and trying to get clean- a lot of your friends and family dont understand what you're going thru. THERE ARE SOOO MANY YOUNG PEOPLE IN RECOVERY! SOO MANY! BY LITTLE BROTHER JUST TURNED 18 AND WILL BE CELEBRATING A YEAR OF CONTINUOUS CLEAN TIME IN LESS THAN A WEEK DUE TO NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS.
Go online or call the NA hotline and find a meeting in your area. GO TO IT! once you get there, raise your hand and introduce yourself. share about what you're going thru, and ASK FOR A PHONE LIST! Afterwards, other recovering addicts in the meeting will come up to you and share a little bit about how they can relate. You'll be surprised at how many addicts will tell you they feel your pain- they were in the same spot that you were, and they'll tell you what they did to get and stay clean.
I know how hard it is to try and get clean when you're young. Don't ever feel like you're too young to get clean, and don't let anyone tell you that you haven't experienced anything too bad because of your age. only you and God know exactly what you've been thru, and only you can classify yourself as an addict. Once you start going to meetings, you'll meet other young people in NA who are trying to get clean, younger people who can share their experience, strength and hope with you.
All you have to do is try.
I wish you the best, and I'm here if you ever want to talk-
Deanna M.
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Re: someone please read this im 16 and i need alot of help

Unread postby An Addict Called Mitch » Fri Jan 30, 2009 4:24 pm

Hey, after reading your post i could truly feel your pain. I'm 18 years old and have been in this recovery process since i was 16 going on 17. Granted, my circumstances were a little different, but the fact that you're seeking help speaks for itself. I had attained 18 months of continuous clean time and CHOSE to relapse in September 2008 for selfish reasons. But it was the worst mistake I've made. Now I'm coming back around and have two days clean and can relate to your constant feeling of being in an uncomfortable 'dream-state'. I have experienced it before as well, and I assure you that it does get better with time. But you're still smokin pot. That's no good. Sure it may not be "the worst drug", and it might be aiding your sleep, but it's still a drug. As drug addicts, it's ABNORMAL for us NOT TO USE. But as [bhuman beings][/b] it is ABNORMAL to USE. Basically what I'm trying to get across is that since you're a drug addict, it's understandable why you feel the way you do and why you want to continue smoking pot, but just because it's understandable doesn't mean its okay. If you think about it though, something is messed up in your chemical balance or whatever that's effecting your sleep, and this was caused by the use of drugs. So in order to fix the issue, it would be best to just stop using ALL MOOD ALTERING SUBSTANCES, including pot. Just by you reaching out through this forum, I have tons of respect for you. However, if you are struggling to get off drugs, stay off drugs, or recover from the damage of drugs, then I would HIGHLY suggest going to an in-patient rehab. I've been to 2 juvenille in-patient rehab centers and 2 juvenille outpatient treatments, as well as one in patient/ one out patient as an adult. I only suggest that you do in-patient treatment because i know that often times it's hard to stay focused and gain anything from juvenille outpatient centers where 9/10 kids are court ordered and still getting high. Do what you can to get to a meeting, share honestly, and take all the help you can get. Your willingness is admirable. Keep your chin up and hang in there. If you need anyone to talk to or have any questions, don't hesitate to contact me...

E-mail: Addict_Mitch@yahoo.com
AIM: Mdean072

And if nobodies told you today, I love you. Keep up the good work.

Mitch D.
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Re: someone please read this im 16 and i need alot of help

Unread postby laallday » Mon Feb 02, 2009 12:29 pm

Im 28 years old. In my younger day i was wilddddd. Been there, done that. I got my life together, have twins, and im a nurse. I got back into my old ways last year and started smoking weed. My job popped a drug test on everyone and i came up positive. My nursing license was suspended. And i lost my home, car and my respect. All for a blunt? Not worth it.... Something major is going to have to happen for you to wake up but at least you realize you have a problem. My advice to you is stop. Get yourself together, go to church, start praying. Your mind will be totally clear and you will see life is so much better when your drug free. I swear to you. The years i was on drugs my mind was "foggy", my memory was one of an 80 year old. I lost 6 years of my kids life bc i was high. Now i enjoy everyday. Sometimes you got to hit your lowest and lose everything to know what is important in your life. I hope and pray that you will soon see for yourself.....
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