by Rae » Fri Nov 28, 2008 9:40 pm
My mother, father and two of my sisters were alcoholics, yes, that is past tense, they are all dead. One thing I learned, you can't make them admit what they are or get help. The most you can do for yourself is to remember, you didn't cause it, you can't change it and you can't control it. One of three things happen with addicts, they get help, end up in jail or die.
Until they are willing to admit they need and want help, you are helpless. You can choose not to enable them by making excuses, doing for them when they can't do for themselves and picking up the pieces for them. Until they reach their bottom and until there is a willingness to change, there is not much you can do, but protect yourself againt the mental stress. If this sounds cold, I don't mean it to be. I have been through this enough to know what works and what doesn't. For years I tried to change them, make them see what they were doing, but to no avail.
Please, do something for yourself, try to find an Alanon meeting and go a few times. There are so many people in your shoes with much the same stories. It will save your sanity. I will pray for you.