I NEED TO CHANGE MY WHOLE LIFE

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I NEED TO CHANGE MY WHOLE LIFE

Unread postby MIKE1977 » Tue Feb 10, 2009 1:54 am

IM STUCK IN THAT SAME SITUATION, I HAVE A BAD DRINKING PROBLEM TO THE POINT EVERYTIME I DRINK I ALWAYS END UP DOING MAD COKE AND I KEEP TRYING TO STOP BUT IT SEEMS THAT EVERYWHERE I GO IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING TO DO WITH DRINKING AT THE BARS OR SOMEONES HOUSE. AND THEN I TRY TO STAY HOME AND NOT GO OUT AND IT GETS SO DAMM LONELY. CONSIDERING I SIT STUCK HOME ALL WEEK WITH NO CAR BECAUSE I LOST MY JOB . SO BY THE TIME THE WEEKEND COMES. I CANT WAIT TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. AND I ALWAYS SAY IM JUST GONNA HAVE 1 OR 2, BUT BY THE END OF THE NIGHT IM A MESS.AND FOR ME TO STOP GOING OUT AND STOP DRINKING I WOULD REALLY HAVE TO GIVE UP EVERY FRIEND I HAVE AND WHEN U LIVE IN A RESORT TOWN AND THERES 20 BARS AND CLUBS ON UR ROAD. AND NOTHING ELSE. IT SUCKS. AND I REALLY CANT STAND IT ANYMORE, BUT ITS ALL I KNOW BECAUSE IM 30 AND IVE BEEN DOING THIS SINCE IM FOURTEEN.


i STARTED WHEN I WAS 14 THE FIRST DRUG I DID WAS ACID AND LATER PROGRESSED INTO PILLS OF XTC & I WOULD SNORT SPECIAL K WITH IT. I WOULD POP 4 TO 6 PILLS AND NIGHT AND SNORT ABOUT 3 GRAMS OF K AND I WAS DOING THIS 3-4 NIGHTS AWEEK UP UNTILL I WAS 22. I HAD SOME THINGS GOING ON IN MY LIFE AROUND THAT TIME IT SEEMED BEING THIS ILLUSION WAS THE BEST THING FOR ME, i NEVER THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO MAKE IT TO THRITY AT THIS TIME, mY FAMILY DID SEE ANYTHING THAT WAS GOING BECAUSE THEY WERE INVOVLED IN THERE ONE THINGS LIKE PARENTS GETTING DEVORCED LITTLE BROTHER GETTING A 20 YEAR SENTENCE AT THE AGE OF 16 FOR A ROBBERY. ONE I TURNED TWENTY THE DRUGS KINDA SLOWED DOWN, BUT THEN I STARTING EVERYNIGHT OF THE WEEK. BUT I DIDNT THINK THERE WAS A PROBLEM , BECAUSE I WAS GETTING UP EVERYDAY AND GOING TO SCHOOL BUT I WASNT DOING DRUGS, AND I WAS TELLING MY SELF AS LONG AS IM NOT DOING DRUGS.

I GOT A JOB IN A NIGHT CLUB AND THATS WHEN I THINGS STARTED TO GET REAL BAD AGIAN, BECAUSE EVERYONE WAS DOING COKE, AND I STARTED GETTING INTO THAT, WAS DOING IT WITH A GIRL I WORKED WITH. THIS WENT ON FOR A ABOUT A YEAR AND WE BROKE UP I JUST GOT WORSTE.

FINALLY I GOT A GREAT OFFICE JOB AND IT WENT BACK TO NOTHING DURING THE WEEK BUT WHEN THE WEEKEND CAME I WAS OUT AND AFTER 12 DRINKS IVE BE DOING A GRAM IN ONE SHOT AND THATS HOWS BEEN EVER SINCE AND WORSTE WHEN I LOST MY JOB BECAUSE OF THE ECONOMY AND THEY SHOT OUR BUILDING DOWN.

i KEEP SAYING I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE TO SAVE MY LIFE,BUT BEING ON UNEMPLOYEMENT AND LOSING MY CAR, I KEEP GETTING THROWN BACK AND MAKES ME MORE DEPRESSED. i JSUT NEEDED TO VENT. BECAUSE THIS IS THE HARDEST THING IN MY LIFE AND ITS LIKE ITS A SECREAT LIFE BECAUSE HAS HARD AS IT IS TO BELEAVE YOU WOULD NEVER PEG ME TO HAVE THIS LIFE. BECAUSE I HIDE IT SO WELL, AND FOR ME TO ASK SOMEONE I KNOW FAMILY OR FRIENDS. I JUST KNOW THEY WOULD TURN THERE BACK ON ME BECAUSE WHO WANTS TO DEAL WITH SOMEONE ELSES PROBLEMS.

WELL THANKS FOR READING GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE
MIKE1977
 

Re: I NEED TO CHANGE MY WHOLE LIFE

Unread postby Nalltheway » Fri Mar 20, 2009 7:52 am

mike im on the same level with you brother. one thing that this program has taught me was live one day at a time. when i first got into this program i used to say to myself how am i gonna b sober for the rest of my life. but i found it alot easier to just say how about i stay sober for today not tommorow because by the time tomorrow comes it will b today. i went threw rehab and it really helped me and im sure it helped alot of other people to..im not suggesting...all im saying is that it might be something to think about and it really is a place where people come to do the right thing and people can help you. im glad i did it and im glad im alive today. we have almost the same stories and i pray everyday that just for today i can stay clean. so just live for today and forget about the past and dont look ahead because today could be the last day of your life and why not make it the best day of your life.

peace.love.keep coming back

good luck brother were all in this together


Last bumped by Anonymous on Fri Mar 20, 2009 7:52 am.
Nalltheway
 


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