by present » Tue Mar 03, 2009 2:52 pm
Hi There -
I completely relate, and hope I can provide some of the support you need (deserve!).
I am happy to share more details, but suffice it too say I just (one week ago) got myself into AA. I am just a few years older that you are, have wasted a lot of time drinking too much, being hungover, and everything else you can imagine. The hardest time of the day for me is just after work. I come home and my routine of drinking wine is gone... leaving me with nothing but the anxiety I used to eliminate with drinking.
I was recently broken up with (for the second time) by a guy who left me for someone else. He begged me for a second chance, but wouldn't get into therapy for his abusive/drug/alcohol dependence. It is excruciating, and makes ME want to drink more. Feeling abandoned in the midst of everything else makes drinking a constant urge.
I am not in any way pushing AA, so please know that - but for me it has helped. Somehow it helps to feel companionship with people having the same struggle. It's easy for me to say I don't need to go there, but it actually has been the only thing getting me through this time.
I hope this helps, and if I can help in any other way, let me know.
By the way, you are NOT weak. You are strong for looking for support on this. If it were easy there wouldn't be "sobrety online!!!).