by milkpaint » Fri Mar 20, 2009 12:06 am
I have not been in your situation but I have some thoughts I'd like to share. Nobody has a crystal ball, nor can they predict the outcome of your situation. Your chance for happiness in this relationship are certainly going to improve if you both take care of yourselves. If your addictions are left untreated they will be all consuming and your relationship can't grow in change in positive ways under those circumstances.
I really commend you for wanting more for yourself and for your marriage. If you are both committed to stopping that is wonderful. I imagine when one person continues drinking/using/etc and the other doesn't, that could be particularly challenging. It sounds like you both care about yourselves and each other so I would be optimistic.
As far as being co-dependent... There is nothing wrong with depending upon your husband nor with he depending on you. It is good that you want to be with him, and to make it work long term!! Obviously we all need to be able to function independently, and with individuality. If you have yourself in tact as a person who is able to make decisions/function independently but you choose to have your husband in your life, isn't that what marriages are supposed to be about?
You sound like you have your head on your shoulders more than you realize. I wish your husband and you all the best!