im 16 i need help someone read this

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im 16 i need help someone read this

Unread postby cosmogirl » Mon Aug 25, 2008 9:09 pm

im really confused..........im 16 turning 17 next month and none of my friends feel the way i do.....i smoked weed for 3 years and took all sorts of painkillers almost everyday and that started before i ever smoked pot......ive been doing that since i was about 12 and a little before that but it didnt start becoming a habit til i was about 12 or 13...and about 2 months ago i tried doing meth and did it for 2 days during the weekend and did it again for 2 days the next weekend..and a month after that i took 3 ecstasy pills the same nite and it was the only time i actually felt anything from it cause id always taken half a pill before that cause i was scared of what it would do to me once it kicked in. and about 4 months ago i forced myself to quit doing cocaine which was a bad addiction off and on for maybe a year..........but after i tried speed and ecstasy ive just been occasionally smoking weed maybe once a week but every since i did meth and ecstasy ive been feeling so weird. i never had any problems like this when i was high on weed or after a come down. id usually pass out when i was coming down and wake up feeling brand new. now i wake up feeling like im in a dream everything looks cloudy and blurry and im always dozing off into space and staring at things i feel like im disconnected from reality. its really hard for me to explain it.........basicly im just out of it all the time...and sometimes i snap out of it and i feel normal. i noticed that it happens more often and feels worse when im away from home or somewhere i dont feel as comfortable. im still having cravings........for coke mostly but meth too...i guess it really is as strong as people say it is cause even though i only did it a few times its all i think about........and cheaper than coke so that doesnt really help me to stay away from it. i want this all to just end and i wish i never did anything........i dont know anyone else my age who is as heavy of drinker and as bad of a drug fiend as me. im tired of feeling WEIRD......and having to smoke weed so ill be on high on SOMETHING which is better than nothing..and atleast if i smoke weed and feel weird im cool with it cause i know its cause im high but when the high comes down i feel like crap again cause i start feeling weird! and the weirdness that i feel is terrible it makes it hard for me to function.........im in beauty college.......i love doing hair and its my inspiration to stay away from hard drugs and alcohol........but its hard for me to do anything when im always off in another planet. i feel like im permanatly brain damaged......my emotions are different too...i used to not be shy..i was so outgoing and happy and loved life.............plus on top of it all i had a bad loss...a friend of mine passed away and its almost the one year anniversary of his death and it haunts me in my dreams.....and i didnt have the best childhood......so its all piling ontop of each other and when i did weed and coke i was fine i swear it was after i did speed and quit then tried E i changed..........a friend of mine did heroin for a few years and she said she understands how i feel cause it took her 2 years to get her head cleared and snap back into reality cause she alays felt out of it too. im always craving pills.........theres a list of them that i take. and i dont always abuse them sometimes i take the regular dosage and other times i just sit there and keep popping them until im satisfied..
but im never satisfied............from any of it............. drugs used to be fun and now i feel like they ruined my life. is there any hope for me? if anyone can answer my questions or has any information please let me know......im desperate for help and i have no one to talk to
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Re: im 16 i need help someone read this

Unread postby cosmogirl » Mon Aug 25, 2008 9:13 pm

its me again.........and what makes it hard is i know that if i did coke or speed again i would be feeling great
but im not going to do it

now the problem i have is trying to feeling normal when im NOT high.......
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Re: im 16 i need help someone read this

Unread postby Directbob » Thu Aug 28, 2008 10:01 am

Your first step is to find someone to talk to. Go on line and fine a AA or NA meeting a go right away. They will help you sort out the issues.

Please remeber this; your first high was your best high, and you will never have it again, no matter how long or how far you chase it. Get into a program right away, change your surroundingsa and friends and you will begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Good luck
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Re: im 16 i need help someone read this

Unread postby GUEST » Fri Aug 29, 2008 9:03 pm

HEY GIRL: LISTEN UP, YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO DRINK OR DRUG LIKE YOU USED TO EVER AGAIN. THATS THE GODS HONEST TRUTH. Y OU WONT BEABLE TO IMAGINE YORSELF NEVER DOING THOSE THINGS AGAIN, BUT YOU HAVE TO. I AM 45 YEARS OLD, HAVE BEEN SOBER FOR 5 YEARS NOW, CANT BELIEVE IT. DRINGING WAS MY DRUG OF CHOICE. SMOKED WEED, DIDNT LIKE THE WAY IT MADE ME FEEL. YOUR PROBLEMS ARE MUCH DEEPER. YOU NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHY YOU WANT TO DO THE THINGS YOU DO. I DID. I WAS ABUSED AS A CHILD AND ALSO RAPED AS A TEEN. THERE ARE ALWAYS REASONS WHY WE DO THINGS TO HURT OUR BODYS THE WAY WE DO.SWEETY, PLEASE GET SOME HELP, THERE ARE SO MANY PLACES YOU CAN TURN TO. DONT WAIT ANY LONGER. BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF AND GET HELP. ITS NEVER TO LATE. I HAD NO SELF WPRTH, SELF ESTEEM OR ANY THING ELSE SELF. I DO NOW. I HAVE FORGOTTEN THE PAST AND HAVE FORGIVEN THE PEOPLE THAT HURT ME AND HAVE MOVED ON. I CAN DO THIS SO CAN YOU.FIND A HIGHER POWER AND GO FOR IT. THE SKY IS THE LIMIT. STAY WITH YOUR SCHOOLING AND SUCEED IN LIFE, DONT BE ONE OF THOSE THAT THINK THEY CAN CONTINUE THROUGH LIFE DRINKING AND DRUGING AND EVERYTHING WILL BE OK. CAUSE IT WONT. YOU WILL END UP SOONER OR LATER IN JAIL, NUT HOUSE OR DEAD.
GUEST
 

Re: im 16 i need help someone read this

Unread postby tamifields511@aol.com » Tue Sep 02, 2008 7:18 am

Oh how you remind me of someone I used to be. Please, please stop doing these crazy drugs, and get help. You are too young to take this path in your life. I guess we all have our own issues and skeletons in our closets. But you've realized it young.Thank God!! My Higher Power is God. And I know without Him, I would'nt be here. Find you Higher Power, and talk to a professional. Much much love```` :D
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Re: im 16 i need help someone read this

Unread postby hollyn1990@yahoo.com » Tue Sep 30, 2008 8:22 pm

OMG! SOMEONE IS OUT THERE LIKE ME! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE EMAIL ME! Hunny you have no idea. i am 18 and i know how you are feeling. I was addicted to E for 6 moths and then i had to stop. i have been drinking sice i was a kid due to my abbusie father and weed.. i have no lue when i started. i have 18 months clean october 14 2008. you can do it. if i can so can you.. one day at a time. i want to meet you.. we have to meet. you are ust liek me and look where i went with my addiction. i also lost my best friend a little over a year ago and i stayed clean threw out the whole thing. please please please get in touch with me.
hollyn1990@yahoo.com
 

Re: im 16 i need help someone read this

Unread postby brandon » Fri Oct 03, 2008 12:16 pm

I read it and I can relate. Some great suggestions from others as well. Sounds like you are searching for something but don't know what it is yet. I am 33 and just found out what I have been searching for. I wanted to fill that void, that God shaped whole or find enlightenment. I searched long and hard. Through booze, hallucinogens, sex, books, people and other things. Finally I had to give up trying to find it on my own and give up trying to quit on my own and ask for help. You did that. Now for acceptance. Part of that is taking action with what was suggested. I recommend AA or NA. I go to AA. i found a sponsor/guide/friend or rather he found me and worked the 12 steps. I guarantee if you find a guide(sponsor) to read the book Alcoholics Anonymous with and work the steps as they are outlined in the book, You WILL find what you are looking for and the void will be filled with a light brighter than an line, shot or puff could ever give you. Please remember, it is only hard if we try to do it alone. Thanks for reaching out and in doing so helping me. I am at a wedding this weekend and could not get decent directions to a meeting, I started to get pissed off and did the smart thing and called my sponsor. We talked for well over an hour and part of that talk was about 12 step work. i feel ready to go to the wedding now. Thank you for helping me.
brandon
 

Re: im 16 i need help someone read this

Unread postby ateague » Sat Oct 04, 2008 7:15 pm

its hard to figure anything out when you feel so alone.

i think the best thing for you is to actually talk to someone who is in a position to help you.

Odds are, if you are in a situation similar to what my sister went through...you can't go to your parents

Maybe find a local outpatient program in your area?

god its so hard when you are so young because everyone treats you like a child instead of an addict...they make your age more important than your addictions and that makes it harder to help.

Your body is still so young and developing and you have to try to convince yourself that you do still have time and you do have the potential to leave this life behind and start new.

is there anyone in your town in a position to help you find an outpatient or even in patient clinic for help?
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Re: im 16 i need help someone read this

Unread postby better154 » Sat Oct 11, 2008 11:38 am

go to a meeting, raise your hand, and tell them your situation and that you are lost and need help from a woman. someone there will help you out, but you have to listen to them and do as they say.
better154
 

Re: im 16 i need help someone read this

Unread postby cosmogirl » Sat Dec 27, 2008 9:23 pm

i havent been on here in such a long time..i thought id check back and im glad i did. things are changing some for the better some for worse im still stuck in a rut i need help but i have no one to go to oh my god i just want it to STOP im so sick of this shit i cant stand it its seriously driving me insane. everyday all day using is all i think about and whoever said that people will treat me like a child and not an addict wow THANK GOD theres someone out there who isnt an idiot. hallelujah! theres too much in my mind.......theres just SOOOOOOOOOOO much to me that keeps piling up to the situation...my whole life..just tons of bull shit.
in october i almost killed myself with a cord around my kneck. my dad hurts me so bad...emotionally..mentally...whatever you call it. its either i run away from home and use..or just kill myself. life is sick. its so hard,.....sometimes im really up and doing good and im excited and know i can beat it and other times i just want to give up. but i guess thats what everyone whos trying to get sober goes through?????? right? i dont want to act like oh pooorrr meee...but really this website is the only place i can be honest about how i feel and what i do.
to everyone trying to help thank youuuuuu its keeping me motivated just enough to still have a pulse.
i gotta keep going and i know that i have to want it on my own but still i need an army of people behind me being supportive and pushing me...
just keep pushing me up please
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Re: im 16 i need help someone read this

Unread postby cosmogirl » Wed Apr 08, 2009 11:52 pm

THANK YOU EVERYONE..JUST WANTED TO GET BACK ON HERE AND LET YALL KNOW THAT I AM A RESIDENT IN REHAB IM GOING TO BE HERE FOR 2 MONTHS+ AND RIGHT NOW IM SNEAKING ON A COMPUTER SO I GOTTA GO!
=D
THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH..IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME BUT WHEN I HIT ROCK BOTTOM ON A METH BINGE A FEW WEEKS AGO I REALISED THAT I WASNT GETTING ANY BETTER JUST GETTING WORSE AND TOOK ALL OF YOUR ADVICE
XOXO<3
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Re: im 16 i need help someone read this/dmobile

Unread postby RE: Cosmogirl » Sat May 09, 2009 2:02 am

My friend your not alone with dealing with these types of issues when it comes to recovery its an on going battle.
Your not alone anymore 16 is young to deal with this type of situation remember this is your life, you got to think about this what your doing to your family.
Recovery is a on going battle you need to read Bills Story, and Doctors Opinion. I hope this helps the Book is called AA Big book. Its a good one.

PLEASE READ IT ONLINE. if you have to but your recovery program should allow you to visit AA websites and NA website this is part of recovery.
good luck, if you get a chance read my stories online.
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