by harmony1 » Thu May 21, 2009 12:18 pm
I have been sober for almost two whole days.I feel like I am dying, I didn't excpect to feel this crazy bad. I have quit before and never has it been this terrible, not from alcohol ,I have gone through this from hard drugs,but never alcohol. Usually I am a little anxious and crave sugar, I also usually have pot. Cold turkey. I woke up last night at 3am after two hours sleep sweating and didn't fall back asleep until 9am. Needless to say my husband( actually we are divorced, on again off again for five years, insane) is over me. we have a 16 year old so we try to make it work for her. He doesn't want to live with me he can't get over finding me dead on the floor last year,overdose, suicide attempt, would have worked but he came over to check on me after i was mia for two days. I am a mess, no job, no money, no family. He was my last life raft. I don't want to live with him either, but I love my daughter, she the only good thing I've done. I can't take her with me. i am not stable i know this,nor do i have a dime to my name. So here I sit feeling sick,tired, sore, fatigued,depressed. There is nothing i can do but go through it. I would drink, but alcohol doesn't work anymore,plus there's not enough alcohol in the world to fix me. I am scared and feel crazy irrational, i can't make sense.