Alcoholism his inheritance

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Alcoholism his inheritance

Unread postby NewMomScared » Wed Jun 03, 2009 4:16 pm

My husband comes from an alcoholic family and lifestyle. I have just received a beautiful amazing loving baby boy into the world. Please please tell me how to stop this disease from reaching my little baby? My husband thinks is ok to drink when he is happy, sad, with problems with his daughter, when he is worked hard at his job, when something brakes down, when is hot, when is a holliday, when the next day is off from work, when he sees anyone else drink infront of him, etc etc etc. His father use to beat his mother and abuse her when he drank, and died probably of being under the influence when he had an accident. My husband's family (his other brothers, my own father and my own brother) all drink and drink and drink. HOw can I show him this is a disease that kills and that will hurt my little baby boy??? Please am desperate, someone help me!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE! I am ready to RUN!!!! Even where we live, this is so the norm, and no one thinks like me. PLEASE CAN SOMEONE OUT THERE HELP ME!!! I dont want to leave him, i do love him, but my son, my little boy will be just the same. PLEASE HELP!!!!
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Re: Alcoholism his inheritance

Unread postby CRASH » Fri Jun 12, 2009 8:33 am

FIRST, YOU REALY NEED TO CALM DOWN AND QUITE PROJECTING YOUR INFANTS ALCOHOLIC FATE. YES, ALCOHOLISM CAN BE PASSED THRU GENERATIONS, BUT IT ALSO MAY NOT. IT IS NOT AN EXACT SCIENCE. I HAVE NO ALCOHOLISM IN MY FAMILY BEFORE ME YET I WAS A SLAVE TO ALCOHOL AND DRUGS. MY SONS HAVE ALCOHOLISM ON BOTH SIDES OF THEIR FAMILIES, THEY ARE IN THEIR MID TO LATE TWENTIES AND SO FAR, BY THE GRACE OF GOD, NEITHER HAS ENTERED THE DRUG WORLD, AND BOTH ARE JUST SOCIAL DRINKERS. AS FAR AS YOUR HUSBAND GOES, IF HE IS NOT READY TO ADMIT HE HAS A DRINKING PROBLEM THEN THERE IS NOT TOO MUCH YOU CAN DO. YOU CAN CREATE CONSIQUENCES TO HIS DRINKING. FOR INSTANCE YOU COULD TELL HIM YOU AND YOUR SON WILL NOT ACCOMPANY HIM TO ANY SOCIAL EVENTS IF HE WILL BE DRINKING, OR NEITHER OF YOU WILL GET INTO A CAR WITH HIM. BUT IN ALL REALITY IF HE DOE3SN`T SEE A PROBLEM WITH HIS DRINKING NOT MUCH YOUM CAN DO WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE. IN MY OPION THE BEST THING FOR YOU TO DO IS GET YOURSELF TO SOME ALONON MEETINGS. TALK TO PEOPLE WHO ARE IN YOUR EXACT SITUATION, AND THERE ARE MANY, TRUST ME ! YOU CAN FIND A GREAT SUPPORT SYSTEM AT ALONON THAT WILL HELP YOU IMMENSELY. LAST BUT NOT LEAST PUT YOUR FAITH IN GOD, PRAY FOR HIS WILL BE DONE, AND REALIZE YOU CAN`T DO THIS ON YOUR OWN AND ASK FOR HIS HELP. I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST.
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Re: Alcoholism his inheritance

Unread postby Sibling » Mon Aug 03, 2009 5:36 pm

My kids have known from an early age that there are both alcoholics and drug addicts on both sides of their family. I chose not to protect them from the day to day misery that addicts can cause to themselves and their loved ones. My son is 24 and chooses not to drink or do drugs. My daughter is 23 and drinks socially, but doesn't do drugs. When my daughter was in middle school, I did find evidence of marijuana use in her room. I pulled her out of school and took her to the pediatrician for a drug test. She was clean and totally scared by both my reaction and the Dr. laying it on thick about how drugs make you LAZY. Recently, my daughter told me that she's going to stop drinking as she doesn' like the way she acts when she's "high". We've been discussing this now and then and I think she's making a very wise decision.
Their Father is an alcoholic and they see him weekly. My addiction is nicotine. I divorced their father after living with his disease for 12 years, the last five years in total anger. I lost respect for him and eventually the love just fizzled out.

Teach your child about addiction and I believe that he will make good choices as an adult. They know what it's like to be embarrassed by their Dad, or Aunt or Cousin and will learn that it's okay to love that person, but to hate the addiction.
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