ak76 wrote:I have no idea where to begin. It's been almost nine years of on and off drinking and drugging. I now have three weeks clean and feel like " holy crap what have I done". There is alot of damage. I often wonder if I can turn this ship around, and search for things to guide and motivate me. Thoughts of a life without drugs and alcohol keep me going. I find myself thinking about all of the things I used to do and loved to do before I drank. I want my life back. In the nine years I became somebody I am not. I was almost posessed by a selfish greedy hungry lush of a spirit, and it took everything I liked about life away from me. I took it from myself. I'm feeling angry about this. And now I am in a position where I am stuck under the rubble of those nine years and I want desperately to clean it up, the rubble. I feel like i can, more importantly I want to. Depression comes like a storm everyday, and when it does a loved one will say "you can't change your past". I don't want to. I want to get back to who I am and not make those same mistakes.
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