by lost » Tue Nov 03, 2009 10:15 pm
My name is DeAnna & i'm so lost in this wicked world of drugs that has now taken over my wife's life & destroying mine.
I watch her leave the house & have no idea of where she goes or when she is coming back, but I know when she does she will be high on pills & at this point it doesn even matter what she can get her hands on to take. There is not really a choice of what just how much will it take to get her where she thinks she needs to be.
She has taken our savings, pawned her jewerly, and has resorted to taking my fathers jewerly and done the same. I have been thru this now for the last 6 months done the rehab, been supportive, and I feel like it was for nothing. Between the nasty attitudes to the unprovoked fights all just an excuse to get high.
If I make her leave all I will do is wonder & stress if she is alive, when the phone rings I wince because it maybe the one call no one wants to get telling me they found her dead. It breaks my heart to know the one person I found to spend the rest of my life with can't stop, won't stop.
I need answers that she can't give.
I have never felt so alone in this battle. She has isolated herself from me and me from her family or people who I can talk my anger & pain & fears with.
I dont know where to turn or what to do next. I have taken all money away from her reach and taken her keys to her truck and the more I do the more it seems to male things worse. I dont want to lose her but I'm just not sure just how much more I can handle before I lose it all together.
If any one knows where i can get help now for myself please let me know, I live in New Jersey not far from Philly......
My thoughts & prayers go out to everyone of us going thru this, cause only God can get us thru this.