Fighting for my life

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Fighting for my life

Unread postby liberty » Wed May 28, 2008 5:41 pm

Hi I am new to this site but not new to alcohol. Finally had to admit that I have a problem and the way that my family found out was embarrassing to say the least. I am a 31y.o. health care professional although my behavior while drinking could have actually ended my career. I was arrested and charged with battery on a police officer and while I was in jail (which really seemed like prison) for 2 days my family found out. The worst part about it is that I don't remember a thing about the incident that led to my arrest. This was not the first time that I found myself in a bad situation because of alcohol, but this was the worse. I stand to lose everything because that charge is a felony but in some strange way I think that something this traumatic was what I needed to wake myself up. I have been slowly killing myself for years others have seen it and I have lost some friends because of it. But hearing my mother cry and the disappointment that my whole family has for me now is devastating. In addition to possibly never being able to practice medicine again I feel so stupid but I know that I need help and that I can't do this all alone. I am going to my first meeting tomorrow which I am happy about because I actually decided to do that for myself. I was advised several years ago to go but I never did. I am still drinking although not alone b/c that is when I really seem to lose control. I know that the ideal thing especially now would be to stop all together but I am not that strong yet.
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Re: Fighting for my life

Unread postby Guest » Sat May 31, 2008 3:32 am

Did you go to your first meeting? Did you get anything out of it? Things can always get worse when we drink... Like killing someone while driving intoxicated. Getting help, and getting help before it is too late is the best thing we can do.

Re: Fighting for my life

Unread postby kara » Sat Jun 28, 2008 2:41 pm

i know how you feel...i am stoppong today...i have had many wakeup calls especially in the last year and i ignored them...foolishly:( i stand to lose the love of my life if i don't stop and more importantly than that..i stand to lose MY LIFE!!!
IM DONE!!! i binged last night and don't remember much...only that i totally grossed out my boyfriend with my alcoholic rages a nd jealousies!!!!! i am going to a meeting tomorrow...i am shaky now and full of anxiety and i feel sick...i have not had any alchohol today. i pored it down the drain. i made a promise to myself, my boyfriend and to God and i am going to keep it!!


Re: Fighting for my life

Unread postby Greg S. » Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:08 am

I really understand. I'm in a high pressure job and being treated for depression.. I can't sleep at night, so I drink... alot. It starts at the train staion in Newark and continues until I black out. I'm scared to death. I realize I need help and cannot do this on my own. I started seeing a Psychiatrist and told my physician today that I am an alchoholic and want to stop. My wife is at the end of her rope with me and I want help. I will be going to a meeting tomorrow for the first time.
Greg S.

Re: Fighting for my life

Unread postby marocrn » Sat Dec 13, 2008 4:37 pm

To say i understand what your going through would be an understatement. I am a also in the healthcare profession. I have struggled for a while now first through complete denial..somehow i felt im too good to be an addict or an alcoholic. I was in an inpatient rehab, and sadly even though it was informative and finally nice to be honest and realize i was not alone. One thing I still cant stand it they lying!!! does it ever stop?? My family also became aware (or where more aware than I was probably for a long time) its embarrassing. I am the oldest child of four and i was embarrassed!!! I was supposed to be a role model. Instead im an addict!! and cant stop lying...I dont know what to say to my mother who has heard everything.. sorry seems silly...anyway..

Re: Fighting for my life

Unread postby idatat » Sun Feb 27, 2011 7:28 pm

I cannot say I know what your going thru, but I must stress this. If your job is so stress ful that you can't sleep, and because you can't sleep you are killing your self. This is not the job GOD has for you, and he will supply your needs if you were to quit. Can I ask what type of work is it. Is it a min wage paying job, or you doing the work of two, is it a poor manager, are you not qualified technically to do the job so it's a hinderance and that is what's stressing you out? These are some factors to take a look at. You are forsaking your health to work. GOD does not want us to do that, all relationships start with a God of your understanding, once you get that all other relationships will fall in line, job, family, co-workers...

Once you've made the decision to quit, then you need to get some mental health to address the drinking because now it has become and addiction, your body is craving it for sleep. Try to find an AN meeting in your area raise your hand and let people know who you are, all they want to do is help. Sit get a cup of coffee and listen. Your life is in jeopardy, let us help you. Have a talk with the God of your understanding and ask him for his help to make the right decision as to what you should do conerning your job. He will allow you to make the best decision. Until we chat again, I love you :)

Last bumped by Anonymous on Sun Feb 27, 2011 7:28 pm.

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