Need Help Please

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Need Help Please

Unread postby CiaoBella27 » Tue Apr 13, 2010 7:43 am

Yet again, we were only going out for 1 beer. Then I woke up today not remembering the night. Lying to my boss. Drunk texting. Yet another night of blacking out - these happen a few times a week now. I re-discovered cigarettes and vodka in the past few weeks. My husband will drink with me and will not stop me or himself either. I do not know what to do. I need to stop because I am not the same person as I used to be. I am embarrased. Always. How can I start right now to stop? I will attend meetings but what can I do from home? My usual is throw up a few times, check all of my technology to see what I had done, sit in the shower and pray. I hate this life. Please help with any words of wisdom. Thank you in advance.
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Re: Need Help Please

Unread postby ches2jake » Thu Apr 15, 2010 8:54 am

I can totally relate to you. I drink 6 out of 7 nights. It always starts of as 1 or 2, but ends up with me being crazy drunk. Every time I tell myself that I'm not going to drink again, but that lasts about 1 day! My boyfriend is my enabler. I've asked for his support, but he loves to drink and wants to go out to the bar all the time. He can't help me! We have terrible fights - I usually start them because I'm so drunk. last night I ended up on the kitchen floor with his hands around my neck - I apparently tried to bite him. I don't remember it. He left me there. Took his stuff and walked out. I can't take it anymore. I'm going to go to a meeting tonight. I've got to stop drinking. I'm miserable. I hate myself. I need help.

Re: Need Help Please

Unread postby EaglesNest73 » Thu Apr 15, 2010 1:20 pm

I have been trying to shake my addiction to alcohol for quite some time now. Years and years. I even spent some time as an inpatient and bawled my eyes out in front of a room full of strangers. As trite as it all sounds, you are not alone. I feel your pain. So why then did I drink for seemingly no reason last night? My wife supports me and my recovery - even as I lie to her. For this I am thankful and grateful. But how much longer? How many more special dispensations? You have got to want it for yourself. Addicts can be selfish. Be selfish and want sobriety. Spend some time thinking, but don't try to over analyze. One of my favorite meeting quotes .... one drink is too many, a thousand is not enough. Take good care. Go to meetings and share if you can. I will be at one tonight. See you there.
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Re: Need Help Please

Unread postby Jimtastic27 » Sun Feb 27, 2011 7:27 pm

I totally understand your pain, after delaying for months I'm actually NOT going to drink today, the last weeks worth of blackouts(and I almost always blackout) was too much, too embarrassing, and too insane. I hate waking up and going through that outbox, and checking calls made, and trying to fake like I remember them later on when asked... right now the DTs are kickin my ass, the shakes, can't see straight, muscles ache, I hope this goes away at some point.

Last bumped by Anonymous on Sun Feb 27, 2011 7:27 pm.

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