Advice Please

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Advice Please

Unread postby Brie » Fri May 28, 2010 1:33 am

Hi this is something completely new for me. I'm an 18 year old who's mother is an alcoholic. I am the youngest of two and my older sister is 20. My sister recently had her first child while in the military and lives in across the country with her infant alone. She is getting deployed in August, and it is my responsibility to help my sister for the next couple of months take care of her child across the country and when she gets deployed to bring the child back to PA. My mother who is a raging alcoholic will be in charge of my nephew when i bring him home. I am scared out of my mind leaving the child alone with my mother for I have had to carry her to bed on multiple occasions. About 10 years ago my mom entered a rehab and was sober for 5 years. When my mom and dad divorced my moms family members and friends condoned her drinking saying that it was all my fathers fault that she drank and told both her and I that my mother was not an alcoholic. recently my mom went to a party and ended up making a complete fool of her self and decided that it was time for her to quit drinking. Although i was so happy to hear her say those words, I have danced this dance many times with her before and tried to not get my hopes up. I have an elderly friend who is a recovering alcoholic of 18 years and when I asked her if she could help mom mom she was more than willing. 6 days later i went to visit my mom and she told me that she had not had a drink since the night of the party, but was in severe pain in her neck. I recently had surgery and had had pain meds for it and i gave her just one for her obvious pain. I then left with my friends to come home with two more pain meds missing an a box of wine in the kitchen. She told me earlier in the day that she wasn't going to go to meeting and that she was going to do it on her own. Every time i have brought home pain meds for whatever it maybe, she has taken them without my consent or say so, while drinking. She also takes a sleeping pill every night that she is prescribed, but the bottle says take 1/2 or 1 and she takes 2 and then drinks to the point of blacking out. I know that I shouldn't have given them to her in the first place because it is completely enabling. I am going to go to my first Ala Non meeting this coming Thursday but i don't know what to do. I hate that she could do this before and she can't do it now. I am scared for the well being of my nephew, and my mother. If she continues on this path she will die. I CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN TO HER! She is better than this. Please give me some advice...
Brie
 

Re: Advice Please

Unread postby Guest » Sat May 29, 2010 6:45 am

Hey Brie, you know there's nothing you can do to help your mom. She has to be the one deciding she needs help, she's the one in control of her life. It's SO frustrating because we want to help, but it's a complete waste of time. Let's talk about the things you can do: Does your sister know your mom is an alcoholic? I don't see how your mom can take care of a kid. Now does your sister want you to take care of her kid? Either way it's not a viable situation. I would talk to my sister if I were you. Come up with another plan that doesn't involve an addict being in charge of a baby. Going to alanon meetings is the best thing you can do. Actually are there any alateen meetings in your area? Listening to other teenagers going through the same kind of ordeal is so valuable. Come back and share if you want.
Guest
 


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