staying clean

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staying clean

Unread postby sheba » Sun Jun 13, 2010 4:35 pm

my man pushing me to the edge, the things he doing is not fare,
all this time he put up with my using, running away and comming back,I have some clean time
he's always working, no time for me any more, I think he's cheating not sure but all the sign is there, know he tell me he want to spend time with his boys, they not mine, his dam boy is 18yrs, I know something is up,I feel like running, he taking me for granted are a joke, I think I should leave for a while, my head is full, all kind of thought, I think he think he got a hook in my nose, I hate not having control my feeling, i'm always crying for time, so lonely,so I came on line and found this NA place, need help, don't want to run any more, are use, and don't want him to think that he can do to me what he want, i use to lean on him when I was getting clean, not know more so now he think he can control my life, tell me what to do, when to go out side, everything, I hate that I dont have control of my own life, so I will go away for a while before I explode,we been together 4 and a half years, things not to good in this house, I have no friends, are anybody, just him all my family gone, he took me from them to his self, know I'm along help me help my self please! :idea: :oops:
sheba
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Re: staying clean

Unread postby xoxoMad » Tue Jun 15, 2010 2:52 pm

Hi Sheba.

I read your post and I can honestly say I understand how you feel. My husband of 18 yrs did the same things. And at the end he was cheating. I turned to alcohol to help with the pain. But, What I have come to learn on my own is that only you can make yourself clean, strong and better. I left my abusive husband with 5 kids. It is not easy and it may never be, but to live in torment in no good at all. I use to cry all the time maybe the whole 18 yrs. But, there comes a time when you have to say I love me! And walk away. You are a strong woman and you can do this. Reach out to your family for help. I actually went to church and ask them for help. They didn't know me and They lend out there hands and did. Believe in yourself. If I can do it you can too. You just have to take it one day at a time. I'll pray for you and God Bless you!
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Re: staying clean

Unread postby xoxoMad » Tue Jun 15, 2010 10:21 pm

CORRECTION ERROR! I left my husband not my kids. I have my kids. I will never leave my kids. They are my life and rock. I am one day Sober. :D
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Re: staying clean

Unread postby rahghil » Thu Jul 01, 2010 11:58 am

Greetings

I hope you are still reading this post.

I am an active member of the program. I attend meetings and fellowship with other people in the fellowship. In reading your post I noticed that you said you have no friends. I suggest that you get phone numbers and talk with other recovering addicts.

I don't know the whole story regarding your relationship but I know that I have experienced my emotions being all over the place and me be suspect of everything. Get some friends, make meetings, talk with a sponsor daily, and get the focus on you.

With the help of meetings and other addicts sharing their experience comes hope and then strength to make major decisions.

Peace
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Re: staying clean

Unread postby MarkD » Wed Jul 07, 2010 2:36 pm

Agree with the above posts. Best thing you can do for yourself is to focus on yourself and your sobriety. Going to meetings will take you away from feeling lonely. A good sponsor to talk to as often as you need will help alot, and it doesn't have to be over the phone. Any sponsor would be happy to see you and talk. You can't make this guy think a certain way, behave a certain way, do things you want. You can only change what you do. If that isn't enough for him to see you in a different light and treat you the way you need him to treat you then you may need to make further changes like leaving. Go to some meetings, get a home group if you haven't, volunteer, and get a sponsor. You need to protect you sobriety.
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