IM ALL MESSED UP

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IM ALL MESSED UP

Unread postby krisbykream » Fri Aug 13, 2010 2:47 pm

IM CONFUSED WORRIED AND DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I WAS FORCED TO BE CLEAN MY FIRST 11 MONTHS DUE TO INCARCERATION, BUT WHILE THERE, I REALLY WANTED TO STAY CLEAN. I CAME HOME, AND A FEW WEEKS LATER, I GOT HIGH. THEN A FEW WEEKS LATER GOT HIGH AGAIN. THEN I WOULD GO A FEW MONTHS, AND GET HIGH. I WAS FEELING DOWN FOR NOT HAVING A JOB, OR BEING ANYWHERE IN LIFE THAT I WANTED TO BE. THINGS STARTED TURINING AROUND, I GOT A JOB, WAS GETTING A PAYCHECK, AND THAT SAME WEEK, A OLD "FRIEND" WHO IS NOT A FRIEND, CAME AROUND AND WE WENT ON A GET HIGH TRIP. I FIGURED I COULD GO ON WITH GETTING HIGH EVERY SO OFTEN. BUT NEXT THING U KNOW.... MY MONEY IS GONE AS SOON AS I GET IT. NOW, I STILL GET MY BILLS PAID FIRST, AND I KNOW I REALLY WANT TO STOP. AND THIS NEXT PAY I WANT TO PUT IT IN THE BANK AND NOT TOUCH IT AND NOT GET HIGH. BUT I HAVE A BANK CARD. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I FEEL IM STRONG ENOUGH NOT TO. BUT AT THE SAME TIME I DONT FEEL THAT I AM. IM SCRAED. I WANT TO END THIS BEFORE IT TURNS BAD AGAIN. I MEAN IM DOING REAL GOOD. I EVEN GOT PROMOTED AT MY JOB LAST NIGHT TO MANAGER. AND IT FEELS SO GOOD. I DONT WANT TO MESS THIS UP. WHAT CAN I DO?
krisbykream
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Re: IM ALL MESSED UP

Unread postby Guest » Sun Aug 15, 2010 9:06 am

Go to NA meetings. That would be my first move. Then: Did you have a sponsor at one point that you could call again now? Can you check into an outpatient rehab center? Can you talk to a physician? Keep us posted.
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Re: IM ALL MESSED UP

Unread postby Toolongincoming2jqr8q8 » Fri Aug 20, 2010 12:50 pm

Don't ever think you will be greater than the addiction!
Years and years have gone by with my ego telling me I can handle it- then 1 day you wake up and realize your life about run it's course, and you are still using -
STOP now Use the mtgs, use Church and become humble Its greater than we think
Toolongincoming2jqr8q8
 

Re: IM ALL MESSED UP

Unread postby Guest » Wed Aug 25, 2010 10:13 am

krisbykream wrote:IM CONFUSED WORRIED AND DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I WAS FORCED TO BE CLEAN MY FIRST 11 MONTHS DUE TO INCARCERATION, BUT WHILE THERE, I REALLY WANTED TO STAY CLEAN. I CAME HOME, AND A FEW WEEKS LATER, I GOT HIGH. THEN A FEW WEEKS LATER GOT HIGH AGAIN. THEN I WOULD GO A FEW MONTHS, AND GET HIGH. I WAS FEELING DOWN FOR NOT HAVING A JOB, OR BEING ANYWHERE IN LIFE THAT I WANTED TO BE. THINGS STARTED TURINING AROUND, I GOT A JOB, WAS GETTING A PAYCHECK, AND THAT SAME WEEK, A OLD "FRIEND" WHO IS NOT A FRIEND, CAME AROUND AND WE WENT ON A GET HIGH TRIP. I FIGURED I COULD GO ON WITH GETTING HIGH EVERY SO OFTEN. BUT NEXT THING U KNOW.... MY MONEY IS GONE AS SOON AS I GET IT. NOW, I STILL GET MY BILLS PAID FIRST, AND I KNOW I REALLY WANT TO STOP. AND THIS NEXT PAY I WANT TO PUT IT IN THE BANK AND NOT TOUCH IT AND NOT GET HIGH. BUT I HAVE A BANK CARD. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I FEEL IM STRONG ENOUGH NOT TO. BUT AT THE SAME TIME I DONT FEEL THAT I AM. IM SCRAED. I WANT TO END THIS BEFORE IT TURNS BAD AGAIN. I MEAN IM DOING REAL GOOD. I EVEN GOT PROMOTED AT MY JOB LAST NIGHT TO MANAGER. AND IT FEELS SO GOOD. I DONT WANT TO MESS THIS UP. WHAT CAN I DO?


give me a call i have the same experience first we must surrender we cant beat addiction we must turn our lives to god he is the only one with the strenth to overcome addiction and help you recover get a sponcer or spiritual advisor as i like to call it get into a meeting and ask for help hit your knees and pray to god get into the 12 steps of aa with someone who has experience with them it worked for me i was in the same boat up shits creek give me a call anytime id like to talk it helps me stay sober by passing the message so please dont hesitate *** *** **** call anytime
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