i need to save myself and my family

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i need to save myself and my family

Unread postby lisakirby » Thu Sep 02, 2010 6:01 pm

Hello my name is Lisa,

I am trying to find help with my addiction to oxycontin. Can anyone help me out on taking the first step. This shit is ruining my life and I can't do it anymore, it has consumed me. All I do is think of where and how am I going to get the next pill. My pill habit cost me alomost honestly 500 dollars a day. I am going to lose everything if I don't stop and I just want my life back, and to boot my husband has the same addiction. His will power is alot stronger than mine, he has actually was clean for 6 months and I drug him back in and the guilt has consumed me as well.

Please help!!!
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Re: i need to save myself and my family

Unread postby oliviagrace » Fri Sep 03, 2010 4:32 pm

While the withdrawal alone is awful, try not picking up. But I would really go to a meeting, share your story, ask for help. Is rehab an option? Honestly, I would look for the nearest NA meeting and go and share, or just listen. I hope this helps, and believe me I know how hard it is. Best wishes.
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Re: i need to save myself and my family

Unread postby lisakirby » Sun Sep 05, 2010 8:18 am

Thank you for your time, and your advice. I am going to start going to meetings asap. I am not sure where they have them in my area. I have been searching on line. I think if I start going to meeting that may help me, I need to be occupied constantly all the time. I will let u know how I make out when I get to a meeting.

Thank you,
Me
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Re: i need to save myself and my family

Unread postby TinyDancer » Fri Sep 17, 2010 11:24 am

Lisa, I know what you mean about the guilt. My boyfriend had nine months clean and my using brought him back in too. Intellectually, I know it was a choice we each made for ourselves. In my heart, I'm not sure I believe it.

Have you heard about ibogaine? Look into it, it is an African root bark that interrupts addiction to opiates. Many 12-steppers feel in is incompatible with the program, but I know people who've done ibogaine and use NA or AA as the aftercare component of their program. I have done ibogaine, and I can tell you that it is nothing less than a miracle...but that doesn't mean I just woke up the next day and am living happily ever after!! I'm working on myself every day, and am struggling now with PTSD. I am trying to find an NA group that is not hostile to what I have to share and a sponsor that can help me make sense of the steps. When it happens it happens. I also do bodywork (chiropractic, massage and acupuncture - partly for stress/well-being, partly for the chronic pain that was an activating event for my addiction to heroin), herbal and nutritional support, and am in therapy.

Hit it with everything you've got. You can get through this.
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