My Husband

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My Husband

Unread postby michele1203 » Thu Sep 16, 2010 10:50 am

My husband has been drinking for a long time, I have noticed he has been drinking more and more over the years. He has his sober days, but I dread our vacations and holidays because he drinks so much. He is a good dad but my kids see us arguing over this. He sent me a text by accident the other day asking his friend for a percocet pill because the kids are killing him. He denies he has a problem. He has a way of making me feel I make things a big deal. I have recently gone to his parents because they need to know how bad this is. He was denied life insurance two years ago because his liver enzymes were high--he has made excuses why he cant get it since then--I need to go to the gym, I need to be in better shape. Am i crazy?

Re: My Husband

Unread postby » Fri Sep 17, 2010 6:25 am

You are so not crazy, I grew up with an acoholic father he was verbally abusive to my mom but never physical. Now I find my self in a marriage with one child, with a husband who gradually over the years has been drinking. His liver enzymes are high also, I was enabling him and I can't anymore I am tired and have to look out for my child. I have tried everything and he is like Jenkyl an Hide. Great with our daughter but I can't continue to live a life I got out of as a child. My mom was a victim and I will not become her. She has recently passed and I know the torture of worrying for my dad everyday that she went through. I can't do that.

Re: My Husband

Unread postby Theresa » Fri Sep 17, 2010 1:26 pm

I have been married for 21 yrs to a man who's addiction has only increased over the years. I recognize how I have enabled his addiction, by always forgiving and believing his words. By living in fear that if he left me, my daughter and I could be in a bad situation. He was never a mean drunk, but is now becoming more agitated and verbally cruel when he is drinking, and our teen daughter has only been disappointed by him again and again. I am going to attend my first Alanon meeting soon, as I need to learn how to hold on here for two more years, so my daughter can graduate high school and begin her adult life without such chaos and changes that would surely occur if I were to leave now. We'd have to move out of state to be by family, and she is so happy here at this time in her life, I can't uproot her now.
I too have to get my life back, get in shape again, gain the confidence I once had, and prepare myself for divorce in the near future. He refuses to accept that he has a true addiction, and after years and years of trying all I know how to do to help him, I now concede I am powerless in this, and all the support I offered is not being used. It's time for me to start loving myself out of this marriage, so I can have the future I will find peace and hopefully love again someday. His addiction has drained me all these years, and now it's time for me! I love my daughter too much to uproot her life now, and will wait until she is off to college, but's my turn.

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