by Jen » Thu Dec 23, 2010 12:57 pm
Wow. I knew my husband was an alcoholic, but what I didn't know, is that everyone has almost the same exact story!!! What an eye opener!
All the above comments sound just like my story.
After 3 DUI's total, I've finally limited my husband to ONLY drinking on the weekends. It's the best I could do.
I have two kids, age 11 and 8, and I have no skills or talents, and have always been not very good at work. (I also have no self esteem!) So I've stayed married for 16 years. But it's all starting to wear on me, and my family, and his family, etc..... And I'm just OVER IT by now!
He's a TERRIFIC guy when he's not drinking! Likeable, loveable, caring, a GREAT Dad, strong, smart, etc.....
But the second that Bud bottle touches his lips...it's all gone.
He's very UNlikeable, very mean, rude, tries to be controversial at social gatherings, vengeful, takes jabs at people in general conversation, etc etc etc....
Everyone I know gets physical ANXIETY when they're planning a party, because "what is he gonna do THIS time? What is he gonna say to start trouble? How is he gonna act? Is he gonna ruin my party? Insult my guests?"
Everyone's SOOOOOO tired of it by now, I'm starting to mentally give up and plan for MY future. Alone.
And it WILL BE alone, because I had gone for 2 straight years before I met him, with NO second glance from a man, until I met him. (I was 21.) And ever since, there's been NO second glances from anyone. Not that I've been looking, but it's nice to feel alive and attractive if someone DOES admire you, right?
I'm ugly and have no skills. So yes, I WILL be alone. Especially when my kids grow up.
But being totally alone is WAY more enticing than having the anxiety of social situations like I do now...for the rest of my life. (I'm 39 now.)
I want to try an Alanon group, just so I can vent. But I'm very shy, also, and probably wouldn't say much.
Even so...what is the purpose of Alanon? For family of drinkers to VENT? Or to get the strength to LEAVE?
I don't know.
It's not like it's gonna help HIM any!